Big Ears? Use Pig Latin
Posted on January 24, 2008
Filed Under Communication, Relationships |
Some of you have wondered how come I changed my name from “you know who” to Cottsay Ownetay, on Printnpost.com. I think it’s time I owe you an explanation. You will find the explanation at first funny, but ultimately tragic.
First of all, it was not a clever marketing ploy, although my traffic has inexplicably increased since the infamous name change. In fact, I am considering writing an entire article in Pig Latin., something along the lines of “How I made my first million using Pig Latin.” What do you think? Hah, Hah!
It’s actually my wife’s doing. And my ex wife. I’ll explain about the ex in a minute.
A few months back, we noticed that my daughters were becoming increasingly “big-eared” and nosy. Rather than wait for some quiet time alone to talk about “sensitive information” that might get back to the “other camp”, my wife came up with the ingenious idea of using Pig Latin around the girls at times.
It drove my daughters nuts to say the least. I still laugh my butt off when I think about it. Hee hee! The girls didn’t have a clue what we were saying and stared at us like strange aliens had taken over our bodies. (It’s even more convincing if you can change your accent and throw a grunt in once in awhile).
It took the girls quite awhile to catch on, and even then, they struggled with the translation.
The first part of this post explains a little back history of the Pig Latin gag, but the next part of this post deals with the the underlying tragedy. The not-so-funny stuff. I apologize ahead of time if the following seems a little harsh, but “It is What It Is.” This definitely qualifies as an ex-bomb.
Recently my Ex dug up another parisite, and I found out that he spends a lot of time on the Internet. Changing my name to Cottsay is my feeble attempt to cover some of my tracks. Not that it really matters a whole lot. It’s probably too late. Just in case it is too late, these next lines are for my Ex-wife’s new husband, who recently made his debut by introducing my kids to uncensored MTV, violent video games and by borrowing thousands of dollars (and not paid back) from several of my ex in-laws.
- “Dear As*hole. I know about your record and your reputation as a con artist. You call yourself “Iceman”, but in reality several of your associates refer to you as “Worm.” You have burrowed your way into my gullible ex-wife’s life and finances in an amazingly short amount of time. Congratulations. I am watching with interest this drama as it unfolds and in particular, your effect on my daughters.
I could say a lot more, but will leave it at that for now…..
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I understand step parent issues. I've been a step parent, have a step parent, and I am married to a wonderful step parent.
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They did finally catch on, didn’t they? If they can text message they can eventually decipher pig Latin. But it worked for a while, didn’t it. Perhaps you should try German next. I think they’d be less motivated to learn that.