My Late Start New Year
Posted on January 5, 2008
Filed Under Relationships |
I am not a morning person. To be be quite blunt, I am a crabby son of a bitch. This morning was no exception. It has been a tough week, despite the holidays. Problems at work, and strife at home. Nothing but headache and struggle on both fronts.
This morning I sat on the edge of the bed for a few moments after getting up, feeling way too beat still, and I wondered why everything was such a struggle lately. What a rotten attitude I had for the start of a brand new year. Everything just seemed like a grind. I hate to admit it, but I found myself immersed in self pity. How disgusting.
In the past, when I got up it was just my wife I would see. She would be awake long enough to say goodbye, before falling back to sleep. My work day would start around 4:30am. I would give her a growly little peck on the cheek and she would say her usual “Be safe!, to which I would answer with another little growl and I’d be off and rolling.
Recently, my shift changed to a later start, and now I find that I have to share my morning hours with others. This really annoys me. I’ve not had to do this in over twenty years. I’ve always had my mornings, and a clear shot to the door, no distractions. A nice routine.
This morning, I got an attitude adjustment. (No, my wife did not beat the hell out of me.) As I was coming from the bathroom, I heard my 3 year old ask me, “Are you Grumpy, Daddy?” I could tell right away that my wife had put her up to it, because from my daughters bedroom, I could hear my wife coaching her, teasing quietly. “Ask him if he’s crabby.” She said.
As I walked in, my little girl asked me, grinning. “Are you crabby, Daddy?” But something in my face made her stop smiling, and she looked at Mommy for reassurance. It was almost like a look of…….. are you sure it’s okay to pull the tigers tail?
A thought struck me as soon as I saw that look. Fifty years from now, I don’t want my daughter to remember that her Dad was a crabby S.O.B. in the morning. What if, heaven forbid, I got in an accident on the job, or on the way to work and that onery morning face was the last thing my little girl remembered of her dad?
I went over to her. Her mom was combing her hair. I kneeled down and looked into her serious little face. “I’m not grumpy anymore.” I said. “Do you want to know why?”
She nodded and I said, smiling, “Because you make me happy.” And I gave her a hug.
The look on her face was priceless. Pure happiness. That look and how it made her feel so special touched me in ways I can’t even describe. If you ask me fifty years from now about this morning, I’ll tell you about the day I stopped being a crabby son of a bitch in the morning. (Except for at work), and that 2008 was the new year that started four days late. So now that 2008 has officially started, I would like to wish everybody a Happy New Year!
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About Me
I understand step parent issues. I've been a step parent, have a step parent, and I am married to a wonderful step parent.
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I’m not a morning person either. But 4:30am! That is crazy. That’s not morning that’s NIGHT.